Friday, September 10, 2010

The line between Awesome and Arse is a fine one...



Photographer: Right, so everyone look natural. On the count of three. One, two…

Blonde: Quick question. I’m thinking, maybe I should use my hands? If you’re looking for awesome, look no further than my hands.

Photographer: You’re good. Put your hands away. Just look natural, ok.

Blonde: How about I do this? This kind of rolling action where I put one hand slightly above the other? With the left one casually pointing a finger gun? The universal code for “I understand.” Am I right?

Photographer:
That’s exactly what I had in mind when I said look natural.

Blonde:
Really?

Photographer: No. Put the hands away. I’m serious. Right, lets wrap this up…

Blonde:
Hands have the power to hurt and heal. I want to show how mine
are here for healing. That’s awesome. I will never understand how people would choose to use them to hurt…

Photographer:
I’m starting to understand. Ready everyone? Smile on one, two…

Blonde: Woah! Smile? Smiling is cool. But this is about being awesome, right? How about I half open my mouth like this? Like I’m about to impart some awesome wisdom to my peers?

Photographer:
(Tearing out his hair). Fabulous. Awesome.

Blonde: Easy on the eyes huh? That’s what I’m talking about!

Photographer: (Gouging out his own eyes) Everyone say CHEESE!

Blonde: Cheese? How about we say an affirming word like, “Success!” Or “Aspiration!” Or…

Photographer: (Throwing himself in front of a moving vehicle) AAARRRRGGGHHHhhhhhhhhhh…………

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